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Imagine

andrewducote:

what people could accomplish if we could turn self loathing into motivation.

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ziallnipples:

Whisper words of wisdom... Let it be.
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4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST
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10knotes:

criddagucci:
yes
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cherryfern109:

sithlordtennant:

sithlordtennant:

SO IN AN ATTEMPT TO HAND IN AN ASSIGNMENT LAST MINUTE, I HURRIEDLY UPLOADED THE WRONG FILE TO MY TEACHER AND

image

hOW the HEL DID THIS GET 65 NOTES YOU MOCK MY MISERY

SCREAMING 

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